Before we had actual children, living in our actual house, when we were still trying and hearing and reading of everyone else’s pregnancy and birth and parenting experiences, we learned with horror of many beloved family pets getting the old heave-ho once baby put in an appearance. We were judgy, my friends. We talked of how it would be for us; how we would never, could never turf out our furbabies – receptacles of our baby-love for so long. We read with scepticism of how “it was better for Fido”, or how “Tiddles would be so much happier elsewhere”. Not us, we swore, not us.
But now we are those people. Three days ago, we returned our elderly cat to the rescue centre we got him from nearly five years ago, for re-homing. We have (sorry, had) three animals, a dog and two cats. Add kids and they each bring their own issues to the household. The dog, who we have had for 14 years and love dearly, adores adults but is growls and is snappish and utterly untrustworthy around kids. We have to keep him separate or closely supervised at all times. Cat one is unbelievably tolerant of being dragged round by a toddler and couldn’t be a more perfect feline friend to our boy, but he sprays urine in the house and so needs to be kept outside or again, closely supervised. Cat two, the one that has gone, is ridiculously timid and terrified of pretty much anything and everything. He retreated outdoors during the summer, sleeping out in a kennel and refusing to come in even for food. Once the weather turned, he deigned to come inside once more, but only as far as his igloo bed in the utility room and absolutely no further.
Yes, he was unhappy. Yes, he was stressed. Yes, he’ll be better of with someone who can give him attention and a calm environment. But if I’m totally honest, we were unhappy and stressed too, worrying about him, and I think our home environment will be calmer without him. We were all making each other miserable. I feel kind of pathetic for not being able to just suck it up and get on with it. I feel humbled now the boot is on the other foot. But mostly, I feel relieved, and I hope he does too.
vee xxx
vee and jay... and bonus ball 
Posted by Olive on January 16, 2012 at 10:28 pm
I understand more now too. While we still have our three kitties, they are definitely much more of a handful now. And let’s just say when one of them got sick a few weeks ago we weren’t as sad as we could have been when we thought we might have to put her down (eek, I feel terrible writing that, but it’s true. Turns out she’s fit as a fiddle, though, so she’s staying with us). Each one of them is definitely suffering a bit because of the new addition and I feel bad that we sprung this on them.
Anyway, I should go write my own post, apparently. I hope your kitty has a new lease on life.
Posted by reproducinggenius on January 16, 2012 at 10:41 pm
We were–and are–those people too. I firmly believe that our animals decide to move on just as much as we decide we can’t have them anymore. We had a very similar skittish third kitty who relegated herself to our very small back balcony once BG came along. She was utterly miserable. When we moved, the day we moved in, she bolted for the door and never came back, and I think despite having been with us for nearly ten years, she was simply finished with us knowing this unpredictabe little creature wasn’t going anywhere. I still feel sick about not finding her, but our household is less stressful as a result, and the two old cats are somehow managing. Still, it hurts to make these decisions, even when they are the best for all the souls involved. Hugs to your sweet family.
Posted by lizzie on February 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm
Oh my! You have two! I’ve been away so long! Send me an email at jencas20009 at gmail etc. Tell me how to find Jay on FB. THANK YOU for your comment on my (nearly defunct) blog today. We are over the moon. xo