Update? Kind of.

Except there isn’t a lot to say. Tested last night (10DPO) using a F1rst Response, and got a  glaring white BFN. That was not worth holding my wee in for 4 hours, I tell you.

We’ve both kind of given up since then, because there isn’t a lot of hope, and because we HATE, HATE, HATE doing HPTs. We never did them when TTCBB, because vee’s period always came (except for, obviously, on the 19th try, when we did test). I’m feeling relieved that we won’t be testing again except if my period is late. Only tested because of our weekend plans, after all.

And anyway, it’s easier not to hold out hope – you have less to lose that way.

If this post sounds kind of flat it’s because that’s how I feel.  This whole thing has stirred up more memories than anticipated, and brought back lots of stored up sadness.  In that respect, this wasn’t really Try Number 1 – it was Try Number 20. Having the little man around does help immensely, though, and makes me feel guilty for feeling sad. Making soup and a stew this morning helped, too, and BB (who is teething and grumpy) has a cheer-up play date this afternoon, which never fails.

Finally, vee wanted me to show you a photo of the first HPT we did in the evening of 9DPO, with the too-thin line. Really, nothing that remarkable, and the contrast is cranked right up because, as we all know, pregnancy tests are HARD TO PHOTOGRAPH, but you can maybe see why we got excited.

Remember there have been 2 BFNs since then and now we are SO OVER HPTs.

So there you go. I’m tired and feel like I’m about to start my period, but will be running that 10k race tomorrow if I feel better than crap when we wake up.

Thank you for cheering us on. You’re lovely, lovely women.

xxx jay


6 responses to this post.

  1. (((hugs)))


  2. Good luck in the 10k! I am impressed. And I’m sorry you had to ride on the hpt rollercoaster. I am still crossing my fingers, as always, for you.


  3. Posted by wishinghopingpraying on November 20, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    Sending hugs your way and still hoping for good things.


  4. I’m sorry testing has brought up so many old hurts for you. Don’t be too hard on yourself for feeling sad. It sounds like waiting for AF to show (or not show, preferably!) is a good course of action. My faintest-shadow-of-a-ghost-line-on-11dpo toddler and I will keep our little candle of hope burning for you all. Good luck with the race tomorrow if you make it! *hugs*


  5. I hope you get some good rest and feel better soon. I can definitely see why you got excited about that line. Best wishes for a repeat, without a doubt, soon.


  6. We’ve been thinking about you all xoxo. Hope you made the 10k, very impressive!


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