Some mid-tww madness

So, it is 5DPO and I (jay) am just a little bit crazy. It’s amazing how quickly the mind games come back into force; like when uninvited people turn up at your party and you can’t get rid of them, no matter how you try.

It is more than a little bit weird being the one whose body is being used this time around. Even sitting on the bed at the clinic, with vee on the chair instead, was weird.

Also, I have renewed admiration for my wife through this… how the hell she managed not to vent quite as much as I’ve done in the past 5 days, I’ll never know. I’m a bit of a hypochondriac (this is the part where vee laughs sarcastically) and have invented about 50 different symptoms since we left the clinic last Tuesday. Honestly, this is stupid; a) it’s far too early for symptoms yet, right? b) I’m probably a little bit under the weather – vee and BB are on the mend after a bit of a tummy bug – and c) this is really, most probably just tww madness manifesting itself physically. I know.

Just to make life more complicated, I’ve got two long-standing commitments on next weekend; on Saturday, I’ll be helping a friend move and on Sunday, running in a 10k race. Running when pregnant is meant to be OK, but I’m not sure either of us would be 100% happy about that. Slight issue? I kind of conned vee into entering the race with me, and people have jointly sponsored us, sooooo, she would have to run alone.

Either way, I think testing might be in order. Yikes.

But anyway, the likelihood of me being up the duff first try is probably about 10%, which is really not very likely indeed. This is us, right?

So in the meantime, I’m just mostly feeling immensely grateful for the existence of BB, and that we even got to have a try for his sibling this month at all.


2 responses to this post.

  1. You know, the “symptoms” and mind games are all kind of part of it. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Yes we all know 5dpo symptoms are fake and yes we all feel them anyway. You’re in good company.

    I know you’re trying to be cautious and keep your hopes in check – I would do exactly the same thing if I were in your shoes. That said, I have a good feeling about your cycle and I hope, hope, hope to be one of the many celebrating with you next weekend. 🙂



    bwha ha ha

    that’s just me feeding into the madness.
    xoxo to you both


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