Some things never change.

I predicted that my cousin’s wife would announce her 2nd pregnancy when we visited them today.  I was right. Don’t get me wrong, we’re happy for them, but everyone seems to be on their 2nd kid now. AND, I have to say it does annoy me greatly (for want of a better description) that we try and try for 3 years and then when we finally get pregnant, so do 3 other people in our families, seemingly effortlessly.

Maybe I sound bitter, but that’s because I am.  I just worry that this will never leave us. The good thing, though, is that I AM genuinuely happy for them, and I don’t want to BE them, so why does it bother me?  Maybe we’re scared our 2nd kid will be as reluctant to be conceived as BB was? Sigh.

Off to NCT antenatal class again tomorrow. The NHS one was a bit “whew” on Tuesday – we knew we’d be in for an interesting 90 minutes when the midwife started things off by saying, “I won’t lie to you, birth IS GOING TO HURT.” She followed that up by talking nineteen to the dozen, kind of like a cross between a bad stand up comedian and a medical professional. Sample comment: “The pregnant man? She isn’t a man. She’s just a woman with a beard.” I couldn’t comment on that because I was too gobsmacked, plus being in a room with 20 pregnant straight couples is a little overwhelming.

I am glad we don’t have her all day tomorrow because my head’s spinning enough already. Plus, unlike her, the lovely NCT lady doesn’t say “father” every 2 minutes.

Generally, all is good. I’ll make vee blog soon, promise (she isn’t abstaining; I am just being greedy).

xx jay


4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by scarredbellybutton on February 1, 2009 at 1:29 am

    Still bitter over here.

    “Just a woman with a beard”. Wow, nice way to dismiss a person’s incredible struggles with their identity in a few short words. Nice.


  2. I think we’ll always be different because of the difficult times we’ve had (or, are still having, as in my case) conceiving. Like any difficult life experience, we’ll always carry it with us. Makes us more complex, sensitive, complicated, I don’t know. Some days I wish it wasn’t so, wish it could all be wiped away and I could be naively happy again about all these ladies who sneeze and end up with healthy infants. But other days I’m sure I like who I am, and like being all prickly and bitter and sensitive and, hopefully, more compassionate for it. xo


  3. It looks like NCT wins. I want to say I can’t believe she said that about the “pregnant man,” but I sadly can believe it.

    The bitterness makes sense too. Of course you’re happy for your family, but you can still be hurt too. You went through so much more than they can probably imagine to get to where you are. That’s just the fact of it.


  4. How I relate. We tried for two and a half years on this pregnancy. My sister in law? She plans EVERYTHING and planned on the MONTH she would get pregnant just before graduating from school. Guess what? It worked. Jen’s brother and sister in law, pregnant as soon as they started trying. So frustrating and definitely makes for some bitter feelings. I dont even know what to say about the pregnant man comment. I’m blown away that anyone in such a sensitive position would make a comment like that. I’m going to think on it 🙂 Tomorrow’s baby day, so if you dont hear from us for a bit, that’s why. Hopefully we’ll talk to you soon. Love to you and Vee 🙂 XXOOO


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