We give you permission to be excited.

The second line was darker on the test we did this morning. Way darker. So dark that I could see it from across the room (OK so the room isn’t big, but STILL).Β  Maybe we’ll gain the confidence – to quote an amusing commenter – to go and buy a digital later today and then well, see what that one says.

In the meantime, however, we both have something to say, so this is a joint post. It’s kind of like a wedding speech, but so not. But anyway, here goes.

jay:

Firstly, I would like to apologise for the drama of yesterday. I know, I know, I don’t have to apologise, but I WANT TO. Over the years, I honestly thought that when, no, actually, IF, yesterday ever came, vee would simply write a lovely and eloquent post to say we were pregnant and we’d be so understated and just, polite. Instead, we posted THREE times, including a stupid LOLcats suspense insert, which whipped everyone up into a frenzy. So you would be totally forgiven if you think we’re some kind of attention grabbing crazies. We really didn’t mean to be.

There is nothing polite about pink ghosts though, is there? Jeesh. I feel like shaking myself and screaming something stern but kind. That’s because we totally don’t know what to do with ourselves right now. We know what to do in all the disappointment, but now that it worked – OMG IT WORKED!? – we’re at a total loss. No bouncing off walls happening either. I guess it’s like “once bitten, twice shy”?

I will tell you something though. This morning I woke up and amongst my first thoughts were how fab the IVP are, and I cried in sheer happiness that we got to know you all. I can never, ever thank you enough for being here for us. I hope you will stick around.

And now I would like to pass you over to my lovely wife…

vee:

In the rare moments I have allowed myself to imagine actually posting that I am pregnant, I never imagined messy. I never imagined uncertainty and the desperate need for reassurance. I certainly never imagined LOLcats would be involved! Somehow, I always thought that the cycle that worked would be obvious; that I would know. Having anaylsed every twinge of 17 failed tries, I felt sure I would KNOW when something was finally different. But I didn’t. One thing that I was always sure of though was that there was no way I would be able to keep any of the drama to myself. Because it’s your drama too – you understand the craziness like no-one in “real” life does.

The night before our first ghost test line, I dreamt of getting a positive. The dream was so vivid that when I woke, I was almost sure we must have tested, celebrated, then gone back to sleep. In reality though, there has been no unbridled joy, no screaming and leaping, just shock, disbelief and finally, muted hope and copious tears.

I am utterly overwhelmed by the love and support you have all shown us, not just over the last couple of days, but over the last couple of years too. How much less rich and humourous this epic would have been without your splendid company and friendship. I’m also very humbled by the number of quiet ones amongst you who have been rooting from the sidelines.

I’m going to stop now, because I’m starting to sound pompous. But know that we couldn’t have got this far without you.

‘Thank you’ doesn’t really cut it, but you know what we mean, right?

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47 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by plump on July 1, 2008 at 10:33 am

    I am sooooooooooo excited for you! Thanks for the permission to say it out loud!

    And truly, though my journey wasn’t nearly as long as yours, I empathise with so much of what you’re thinking and feeling now. I expected screaming and unshakable grins. The reality was very different and steeped in anxiety that I’ve only just got under control.

    Regardless, you’re pregnant (!!!) and even if you can only find stolen moments of excitement, bask in it!
    xxoo

    Reply

  2. Posted by heather on July 1, 2008 at 11:41 am

    I am so so happy for you girls!!!! You have been waiting for this for a long time, I am just happy that you are finally getting what you want, your little baby!! Congrats!! And best of luck to you all three of you!!!

    Reply

  3. I think its totally normal to feel disbelief in this situation. I felt the same way. You also have my permission to get excited πŸ™‚ Pinch each other and repeat “We are pregnant” What happy news!

    Reply

  4. This is just the best

    Reply

  5. congratulations on a dark pink line

    Reply

  6. *tears now*
    thanks for letting us in on the journey, even in all the crazy-ness. i am all verklempt now that we are allowed to be all excited. i have this cheshire-cat grin on my face which i am sure if IRL people saw me, they would wonder…and i could never explain why i was so happy for two lovely girls across the pond who just got a BFP.

    only one thing left to say ~ love you all!!!
    and: you can haz baby! πŸ™‚

    xo,
    gypsy

    Reply

  7. Posted by hatchling on July 1, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    Just delurking now that I can officially be excited for you both.. Yay! This is such wonderful news and it’s your news, I loved the way you shared it with the blogosphere; with sufficient eloquency but all the reality of it too…. Thank you and congratulations!

    Reply

  8. Posted by starrhillgirl on July 1, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    Oh hooray, hooray, hooray!!!!! I’ll admit I was excited before, but now I’m *really* excited!
    And so, so glad to get the blow by blow of how it feels (or doesn’t feel, as the case may be) as its happening. This is the shit we still-in-the-trenches girls want to know.
    Thank you is enough. And I totally know what you mean. xox

    Reply

  9. I’m so thrilled for you two. Its a blessing, and I’m so happy for you.

    Reply

  10. Um, sorry I was excited before I had permission!!!!

    It is so wonderful and beautiful that you are pregnant.

    We can’t plan our pregnancy announcement posts, just like we can’t plan the pregnancy, no apologies needed.

    So happy for you both!

    Reply

  11. Bawling. Sobbing. Dropping big hot tears. Soooooooooooooooooooo happy for you. Over the moon. And feeling so privileged to have been a little internet commenter in part of this process.

    Reply

  12. after the long journey you guys have had, it’s perfectly acceptable that there’s a little bit of insanity! And you’ve been really understated about it all. Thanks for sharing this scary time – I’ve been with you mentally every step of the way and although I’ll admit to being excited ever since the very first maybe line, now I’m simply ecstatic for you guys.
    and don’t worry – the excitement will come!

    Reply

  13. Posted by J on July 1, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    We are so thrilled for you ladies. You deserve this!

    Reply

  14. from the sidelines we’re rooting for an uneventful 34-36 more weeks for you guys!! many, many congratulations for entering the next phase on the fertilicoaster ; )

    Reply

  15. I am so, so, so happy for you. And I loved the multiple posts in one day. I know I am not alone in thinking of you both so much, and it is really fun to get all the updates. xo.

    Reply

  16. Posted by tbean on July 1, 2008 at 1:42 pm

    Vee and Jay–you two are pregnant! Oh my word! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!

    Honestly, there are few, few people that are more deserving and I couldn’t be happier for you. Thrilled, I am. Thanks for including me in the journey.

    Reply

  17. Posted by Lisa on July 1, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    This is absolutely fantastic news! Congratulations to you both! I have not been commenting, just quietly reading along but I had to stop and tell you just how thrilled I am for you both!

    Reply

  18. Posted by yup, another sara on July 1, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    I am beyond thrilled for both of you. This is a beautiful post– none of this is like any of us thought it would be, but it is beautiful nonetheless. I can’t wait to get the blow-by-blow of this newest adventure!

    Reply

  19. Posted by scarredbellybutton on July 1, 2008 at 2:06 pm

    This is FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply

  20. No need to apologize for your drama. This IS dramatic! This is one of the most anticipated pregnancies of the blogosphere. πŸ™‚ And I don’t mean to attach pressure to it. You just have a lot of people rooting for you.

    The uncertainty bites, but I think that’s just how it goes for some of us. When we finally got our positive, instead of jumping up and down I just sobbed. And they weren’t even tears of joy. They were scared tears. There is still a lot of fear, but it is accompanied by brief periods of elation.

    Reply

  21. Doing a happy dance in my bathrobe! You were the first thing I thought of this morning and I had to come straight here to check before even going pee.

    SO EXCITED! Congratulations!!

    Reply

  22. I give you permission to be excited. I give you permission to post three times in one day. I give you permission to feel uncertain (we did,) even though we all know a HPT is not an OPK– they don’t have to be the same color. I give you permission to be scared. I give you permission to do a silly LOLcat post. You pretty much have permission for every feeling you are feeling right now. You earned it, moms. You earned it.

    I’m so happy and a little teary-eyed.

    Whew.

    Reply

  23. Oh no, they gave me the green-winged poop icon!

    (See above.)

    Reply

  24. After all the support you’ve given to everyone ELSE, this is RIGHT! So happy for you.

    Reply

  25. ***many congratulations for entering the next phase on the fertilicoaster ; )***

    i totally agree with amy’s comment quoted above!

    and thank you for sharing, in real time, the experience of finding out – in it’s messy unclear stages.

    Reply

  26. I was excited already, too.
    And as one of the pp’s said, you have every right to get attention after all you’ve been through. I also had planned our “it worked” post but we also had some drama and confusion over a ghost-y test after a BFN the day before. And it didn’t feel real for some time.
    But we are here cheering for you!!!!!!!

    Reply

  27. Vivid dreams are soooo a first sign as well.
    It is frustrating when it cannot be super obvious and sure but unfortunately it happens. the reason I wanted you to not do blue dye is because I once had 4 false positives on blue dye, real positives and my beta was less than 1 so we know they were false, then I researched ad they had a high incidence of them so I always worry for others with them. The digital is going to be so fun for you both, they really do suck when negative but rock hard when positive.

    I am over the moon for you both!!!!

    Much much much love.

    Bleu

    Reply

  28. WOOOO HOOOO!!!!!

    Reply

  29. I’ve been waiting for the OK – so here goes. YIIIPPEEEEE! YEAH for you guys. We’re so happy. Congrats. Such great great news.

    Reply

  30. I guess I might count as a quiet rooter from the sidelines, as I don’t always comment. But you know I am always here. And it’s funny to think of myself as a ‘quiet’ anything since I am so full of the snark. Regardless, I am here and reading and so, so happy for you. This first hurdle is a big one. And there is truly nothing like seeing that line. It is so wonderful to have you in this circle. I wish the dollar wasn’t so crap so we could visit you.

    Reply

  31. Hell to the yes. CONGRATULATIONS.

    Reply

  32. one of the best things about our little corner of the blogosphere is that we rally like no one’s fucking business! With crap news we are there, but good news is the bomb! Don’t ever apologize for posting GOOD news. The kind of news that everyone has been rooting for for you guys.
    May all things be smooth from here on out.
    xoxo

    Reply

  33. So incredibly excited for you both! I joined quite late in your baby making roller coaster, but super excited and following every step of the way. You’ve waited so long for this.

    Reply

  34. I am so excited for you all…. congratulations.

    Reply

  35. It’s about time I’ve been holding it in since the first ghost!!

    You are wonderful persons and made me laugh and cry and do silly happy dances. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

    Reply

  36. im so excited to be reading this post… it was more than a ghost but I was still holding my breath for this kind of post… even if it isn’t what you thought it would be it was a wonderful vee and jay pregnant post – i don’t think a different one could have existed. I’m so happy. Go buy some gingerale for when the queezies start.

    Reply

  37. Posted by tbean on July 1, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    Request for pictures, please. Of that NOT GHOSTLY AT ALL second pink line!!!

    Reply

  38. You are anything but attention grabbing crazies! I loved the 3 posts. In fact, without them I would have gone crazy wondering.

    Congratulations! I am just so, so, so happy for you. It’s about time you got some good news!

    Reply

  39. Posted by reproducinggenius on July 1, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    I was very excited for you yesterday, but now I am even more so, and I was GLAD that you posted several times yesterday. We needed updates becuase so many of us have embraced this journey of yours as part of our own. And you’ve done it. You’re pregnant–YOU’RE PREGNANT!–and you are so very deserving.

    I am so incredibly happy for you. I’m wishing you a healthy and blissfully uneventful nine months. Much love to the both of you.

    Reply

  40. Oh, I AM excited!!!!! Wow wow wow. Thanks for including us in this amazing journey. I honestly feel HONOURED!!! Karli and I are just OVERJOYED and I can’t wait to to read upcoming posts. You have NO idea how happy I am, this WHOLE BLOGGING COMMUNITY, is for you both. I’m so glad that this time, it was IT. Hoping for a very very happy and healthy pregnancy. xoAHHH, pregnancy!!!!!! Congrats ladies! xo

    Reply

  41. Posted by g on July 1, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    Wooooo!!! Congrats ladies!!!!

    Reply

  42. Yay! Yay! Yay! I am so happy for you two πŸ™‚

    Reply

  43. So freaking great!!! Congrats!

    Reply

  44. I am so honored that you have let us all be a part of your journey. Truly honored. Thank you for sharing with us. And I am so, so glad that I get to share this part with you too!!! And I think you are only about 6 weeks behind me in this pregnancy thing. I’m excited that we can share the next crazy chapter too!!

    Reply

  45. Posted by Att on July 1, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    After reading loads and loads of these comments, I feel you should just have the pleasure of reading MORE!

    You guys are truly, truly wonderful, and I am honored and blessed to have followed your journey for just a short year, and from that short year I have gotten so much strength and courage in watching you two fight for your baby.

    YOUR baby! YOU guys did it! WOOHOO!

    Reply

  46. Posted by pourlebebe on July 1, 2008 at 8:05 pm

    Congratulations!!! I’m speechless with the immensity of it all. One big deep breath of happiness for you both!

    Reply

  47. Officially doing the happy snoopy dance now! It is beyond fabulous when something so wonderful happens to two such deserving people. Sending heaps & gobs of congratulations & truly looking forward to the rest of your journey. Now back to dancing …

    Reply

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