Party, our house, 9pm!

Hurrah! Big Brother 9 starts TONIGHT! Jay and I can’t wait to get stuck into this year’s serving of shamefully exploitative, mind-numbing drivel. There’s nothing like a bit of reality TV to take yourself right out of your own sad reality. I’m planning to get myself hooked up to the live feed and surfing on the forums during the rest I’ll need to take after egg collection. Bring it on!

I’m going through a bit of a scared patch with this IVF thing at the moment. I joined a UK messageboard for women doing IVF in May and June and there are 5 women on there who have had cancelled cycles already, with 2 more looking touch and go at the moment, with OHSS looming. We’ve had low responders and over responders and failure to fertilise and failure to develop. Admittedly, there are 62 of us on there, so statistically you’d expect this to happen to some of us, but I’m having trouble embracing the logical and getting the disaster scenarios out of my head. The really twisted part of me keeps thinking that if we end up getting cancelled for whatever reason, then there’s half a chance we could afford to try again sometime this side of my 40th birthday, because at least we’d get refunded for the portion of treatment we hadn’t yet had. If the whole thing goes through and I’m just one of the unlucky majority that doesn’t get or stay pregnant, then we’ll be £4000 down the pan and every time I think of how much that is, and how long we’ll have to save to be able to try again, I start feeling panicky and short of breath.

Hence Big Brother – a bit of mental shutdown. Marx was wrong. Or maybe just now out of date. I think TV is the opium of the people.

vee xxx


8 responses to this post.

  1. I heart Big Brother, well the American version anyway. It is horribly addicting isn’t it??

    (but I heart all trashy reality tv type crap…so…)

    And don’t think about the negative…only the positive. When those negative thoughts start creeping in think happy things like rainbows…butterflies…puppy dogs…flamingos…


  2. Posted by gypsygrrl on June 5, 2008 at 7:28 pm

    anxiety stinks.
    sending you love and dont forget…i’m bringing the beer tonight ~ was TOO LOVELY to chat with you today. a very nice treat for me…



  3. Come on, Marx would have loved reality TV. Watching real people struggle with contrived problems on the tv helps ground us from the alienation of the workplace! 🙂


  4. Posted by tbean on June 6, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    Just remember when you are calculating all those odds and listing all the things that could go wrong that still, an IVF gives you a much higher chance, percentage wise, than any IUI you’ve done so far!


  5. We’re pulling for you.

    And definitely cling to the fact that the messageboards are a very small sample to begin with and if there are only a handful of cancelled cycles of the 62 on there, that’s still small.

    And as others have said, the stats of an IVF being successful are so much better than for an IUI or a known donor insem. So, cling to that stat.

    I hope this is IT for you guys!!!!!


  6. Enjoy Big Brother girls! K loves it.

    I am very hopeful for you two, and hoping (so badly!) that this is IT. You two totally deserve it. Lots of luck and love your way. xo


  7. Oh, we have the same high-brow tv preferences. I knew I loved you guys!


  8. It’s hard not to get wrapped up in the bad and have it mess with your head. Add that to the age anxiety (I know that one all to well, I’m right there with you sister), and it’s hard not to obsess.
    Reality TV, hey whatever works for you!


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