It’s over before it even started.
FSH was 12. They’ve cancelled our cycle.
We’re floored. That was unexpected, to say the least. Last time it was taken on CD2 (late Feb), for our last stim cycle, it was 9.1.
I’m sitting here crying and staring at the screen while my mind lurches from one horrible thought to another, finding no solace. I can’t bear to type them.
I know this isn’t the end of the world, but right now, it feels like it. Tomorrow, we’ll start trying again, but for now, it’s just tears, tea and TimTams (thanks K77).
vee xxx
vee and jay... and bonus ball 
Posted by Blondie on April 14, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Oh vee…I’m so sorry. *hug*
Posted by Heidi on April 14, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Oh no! I am so sorry. You cry all you need to, I have two shoulders if you want to use them.
((((really big hugs)))
Posted by Melissa on April 14, 2008 at 6:06 pm
What the hell?!? I’m so sorry.
Posted by j. k-c. on April 14, 2008 at 6:11 pm
oh crap.
that sucks.
(((hugs)))
Posted by Melody on April 14, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Wow. Stunned. What happens now? Wait a month and check again? It’s bizarre when your FSH was OK just two months ago. Could something (fixable) be elevating it?
What a huge letdown. I’m so sorry.
Posted by Lizzie on April 14, 2008 at 6:24 pm
What a nightmare of a disappointment and a setback. I’m so sorry. Surprised and sorry. And pissed off. What the hell? I don’t know enough about FSH levels to offer any useful thoughts. But jeez. Sending love.
Posted by Melody on April 14, 2008 at 6:26 pm
OK– had to come back and say one thing. Some women with high FSH don’t have eggs anymore. But you’ve had several monitored cycles in which you’ve SEEN follicles onscreen. They know you’re making eggs. One high FSH does not mean you’re out of the game.
Posted by Sara- Village on April 14, 2008 at 6:33 pm
WTF???! I’m so, so sorry, ladies. So, sorry. I’m so sorry.
Posted by Calliope on April 14, 2008 at 6:37 pm
fuuuuuuuuuuuuck! Oh man, what a fucking mind blow.
Like others have said this one # taken on this one cd out of this one month does not tell your fertility future. No effing WAY.
It sucks to be sidelined right now when things were progressing, but hopefully you will be able to jump right back in the game in a month.
sending SO much love to you guys.
so unfair.
xoxo
Posted by mrsbluemont on April 14, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I’m sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug right now. ox
Posted by sandra on April 14, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I am so sorry.
Posted by Erin on April 14, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I’m sorry.
Posted by G on April 14, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I’m so so sorry. saying it sucks ass just seems like such an understatement.
Posted by tbean on April 14, 2008 at 8:37 pm
WHAT???!??!?!?
Hate the world as much as you want right now. Lose all hope. We’ll hold you up and keep hope alive for you while you are dealing with yet another setback and BFN. hugs.
Posted by ciaochow on April 14, 2008 at 9:06 pm
So sad, so sorry… damn.
Posted by sarah at notesfrom2moms on April 14, 2008 at 9:40 pm
fuck.
Posted by gypsygrrl on April 14, 2008 at 9:47 pm
well. just plain CRAP.
muttering curse words to the universe on your behalf and sending you both SO. MUCH. LOVE.
xo,
gypsy
Posted by amy on April 14, 2008 at 10:19 pm
I am sorry and I know it sucks.
Posted by nycphoenix on April 14, 2008 at 10:41 pm
oh no!
i am so sorry
Posted by Sarah on April 14, 2008 at 10:45 pm
I’m so sorry.
Posted by bri on April 14, 2008 at 11:11 pm
fucking fuck. i hope this is an anomaly. thinking of you.
Posted by starrhillgirl on April 14, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Fuck, y’all. Fuck.
*sigh*
love to you both –
Posted by Jude on April 15, 2008 at 1:09 am
I am so sorry. I hope this is just a fluke!
Posted by R on April 15, 2008 at 1:51 am
I’m sorry 😦
Posted by AJ on April 15, 2008 at 2:01 am
Fuck, it’s always something. Can’t the Universe give the people (I want it to) a break!?
Do you think anyone would buy our bucket loads of tears? We could be sitting on a gold mine here.
I hope tomorrow it a better day.
Posted by Lo on April 15, 2008 at 2:42 am
oh no, we are so sorry….
Posted by Co on April 15, 2008 at 2:54 am
So, so sorry!!! FUCK!!!
Posted by Chicory on April 15, 2008 at 4:27 am
Shit! Double shit! I don’t understand, does this mean that you can’t do ivf at all? I’m thinking of you and hoping that this was just an anomaly.
Posted by owlie on April 15, 2008 at 4:43 am
ugh…you girls deserve so much more than this. i eagerly check in on your blog waiting to celebrate good times with you and you just keep having to shovel the shit.
it is just rotten. it will be better.
Posted by TheMuriels on April 15, 2008 at 2:44 pm
We’re so, so, sorry…
Posted by inlocoparentis on April 15, 2008 at 3:01 pm
That sucks. So sorry.
Posted by docgrumbles on April 15, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Shit. That really sucks! I am so sorry!
Posted by plump on April 16, 2008 at 12:13 am
nooooooooo. how can it be? the universe has a lot to answer for right now!
sending you love xox
Posted by K on April 16, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Darn it. I’m so sorry your journey has taken such a disheartening pit stop. You’re both in my thoughts. They will test again next month, right? I’ll be sending lots of positive, loooow FSH vibes your way.
Posted by holly on April 16, 2008 at 2:55 pm
oh no. fuck. I am so sorry.
we are sending as many hugs as we can across the ocean. fuck
Posted by thechroniclesofconception on April 16, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Crap. What the heck!!?!? Damn. I’m so sorry girls. oxoxxoxoxoxo
Posted by scarredbellybutton on April 16, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Fuck. I hope it was a one-off elevation and you’ll be back down again next time.
Will send more TimTams post haste.
Posted by Att on April 16, 2008 at 11:32 pm
I may know nothing about IVF and the three-lettered words you use, but I know that it’s unfair. I’m so so sorry, you two.
Sending as much love this little Texan heart can muster.
Posted by Olive on April 17, 2008 at 11:46 pm
I’m SO sorry – how awful.
Posted by yup, another sara on April 18, 2008 at 3:47 am
Ugghhh– i am so sorry– you are going to test again, right? This seems like a fluke.
Anyway, I am sending you both big, big love.
Posted by More Beans Please on April 20, 2008 at 4:54 am
So sorry guys. We’re thinking of you. Hope the tea and tim tams are bringing/have brought even a millisecond of relief. Really sorry.
Posted by reproducinggenius on April 21, 2008 at 11:42 pm
I’m so, so sorry, girls. This certainly isn’t fair. Hugs.
Posted by eggdropblogger on April 21, 2008 at 11:43 pm
Gawd. This is so painful. I am soooo sorry! xo
Posted by charlotte on April 22, 2008 at 7:52 am
suck asssss. love to you guys.
Posted by bleu on April 23, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Aww shit. I am so sorry you both.
Much love.
Posted by bleu on April 23, 2008 at 3:55 pm
OK I had to come back and say what I really wanted to say. I do not understand the canceling of your cycle from that number.
Go over to http://ourbabyblue.wordpress.com/ and look down at the range. 12 is within normal range so what is the problem??
Are they trying to stack the odds for their clinic?
I do not understand and am so pissed for you both.
Posted by Travelher on April 23, 2008 at 6:57 pm
I don’t know how old you are, but I am 38 which has a lot to do with things…
I blogged alot about high FSH back in Jan. 08, mine was 21 when I started going to an RE, next month it was 6. You just never know…so don’t give up hope.
I understand that different clinics work with different numbers, so I hope that next month yours is within the zone…