Much peculiarness

I have a feeling this may turn into a bit of an epic post. I’ve been storing up nuggets of bloggable things for a few days and now it’s time to empty my brain before the overload alarm goes off. First up there’s the recent insem details. Cos I know how much everyone loves those details(!) Then there’s parental redemption in the form of a birthday visit. Oh, and not forgetting the whole mum, dad, we want to have a baby conversation. And a wee story about shredding to end up with. Intrigued? Read on…

So, the sperming-up. It was… adequate. As I said to jay over an adequate meal in a cafe later the same afternoon, adequate can still do the job. Just as the mediocre food filled us up, there’s every reason to suppose that the mediocre insem could get me knocked up. We had a different nurse this time. A very uncomfortable and nervous nurse. Who couldn’t find my cervix. And I know it was there, cos I checked before we went! She poked and prodded and adjusted the speculum, whilst simultanteously maintaining a flood of apologies. Apparently I have a long vagina. Due to me being so tall. I’m not sure whether I should feel smug about that or not. Anyhow, the evil speculum was removed and replaced several times before it finally hit the spot, so to speak. The goods were dispatched by jay and then…nothing. She couldn’t get the damned thing out. Apparently I had a bit of vaccumage going on. God, I thought she was going to pull my insides out with it! Finally, with a bit of jiggery-pokery it broke free of my clinging lady-parts. Hurrah. She also told me not to be surprised if I saw a little blood when I wiped, as she had seen it in there, probably from ovulation, she said. Ovulation makes you bleed? And I was kind of hoping I hadn’t yet ovulated anyhow. Who knows. There was a spot, along with plenty of EWCM, which I’m taking as a good sign, so there.

We returned home to find a brief message from my folks asking would it be ok to visit in a couple of days time. Those of you that have read the recent protected post will know I had some “parental disappointment” recently. Well, it’s my birthday this week and they wanted to see me. Before you get too over-awed by their loving parentalness, I should qualify this by making it clear that my dad happens to have a couple of days work in a nearby town. If I was more cynical, I’d say they were after somewhere cheap to stay. No. That’s unnecessarily cruel and untrue. They did want to see us. Of course, this request then threw us (me) into the ‘Oh god how am I going to explain the fact that I’m not drinking?’ panic. Until I realised that I am only a day or two shy of 36 and I do not have to hide things from my parents any more, no matter how much I think they may not like what I tell them. So, when the inevitable question came up (we Brits can’t just not drink without reason, it’s unBritish) I bit the bullet and told them. They were both sitting down at the time, which was probably just as well. Nothing like your mum asking, “So, do they just do artificial insemination then?” over Sunday dinner to make one’s cheeks flush! They didn’t really say much at all to be honest, though my dad saying it was about time he was a granddad again was a sweet, sweet moment. I was kind of surprised at the lack of response in some ways, but then that’s practically a national characteristic too.

So now they know. At least some of the story, anyhow. I decided I really didn’t want to go through the ‘we tried with a friend, a yogurt pot and a syringe’ scenario with them, so I just talked about the clinic. Which would have been fine, except my mum, being the helpful soul that she is, decided to help us with our big pile of shredding today and came across our old known donor agreement and solicitor’s letters. She won’t bring it up with me though, for fear of revealing herself as nosey, so she’ll have to find a way to live with that information alone. Does anyone else feel vaguely invaded by their parents?

To end, I just wish to pass comment on turning 36. This time last year, I remember being so sad. When we had first started planning to try for a baby, 35 seemed an age away. By the time we finally got to do our first insem at the start of June 2006, after multiple delays on the part of the donor, I was still hopeful that I would by pregnant before reaching the dreaded Advanced Maternal Age. November came and no pregnancy. I was now officially past it. Here I am a year down the line and we’re still hoping for that second line. Here’s hoping my best birthday gift will be a belated one.



20 responses to this post.

  1. Happy (belated) birthday to you. SO giant that you guys had THE talk with your parents.

    & on a funny note, being a tall person myself, I have never been told that I have a “tall vagina” – ok that seriously has to be the name of a book or something- but I was told by an idiot RE in training that because I was so tall that my ovaries were so “high up there”. idiots!

    Have all fingers crossed for you gals!!


  2. Posted by notesfrom2moms on November 5, 2007 at 5:22 pm

    What a wonderful birthday gift – I’m hoping it works out for you. – I, being quite short have been told I have a small vagina… the idea of the silly nurse looking for the cervix made me laugh out loud… humor is a good stress reliever… I’m trying to live that mantra this month.


  3. Happy birthday! I’m hoping for a belated birthday gift for you, and agree that a mediocre insem can end up in a +! We insemmed AFTER ovulation, which was a big bummer to us, but it worked! Nice job on telling the parents too! Now it’s out of the way.

    Happy birthday sprinkled with lots of baby dust!


  4. Happy Birthday! How could your birthday wish not come true?!? I bet you have some weight off your shoulders now that the cat is out of the bag with your parents.


  5. Posted by tbean on November 5, 2007 at 8:18 pm

    Happy Birthday Vee!!! I’m so glad you told the rents–your dad’s comment was indeed so sweet. And, I’ve come to interpret parental/familial silence on these types of things as just related to needing a chance to process the information. And, once processed, it generally turns into happiness or at least acceptance. Here’s hoping adequate nurse and adequate insem is just what your egg wanted!


  6. Happy Birthday, fellow Scorpio!
    Good job with your parents and YES I sometimes feel “vaguely invaded,” my mom just left yesterday after 4 nights here. I just sometimes have trouble incorporating her energy for extended periods of time. It sounds like your parents are going to be fine with this, they just need a little time.
    I’m hopeful that you will have an amazing belated birthday gift!


  7. Posted by reproducinggenius on November 5, 2007 at 10:00 pm

    Happy Birthday!

    I can certainly relate to some parental oddness around the baby-making. My parents have known from the beginning, but they don’t like to talk about it. They are excited about a grandkid, but I think the whole idea of “artificial insemination” is just too weird to them.

    Hopefully soon there will be no need to discuss inseminations. Once you’re pregnant, all they’ll be focused on is that baby.


  8. Oh! Happy late birthday!
    Your sweet moment with your dad made me smile. I’m glad you had that, amongst all the other peculiarness.


  9. Posted by owlie on November 5, 2007 at 11:49 pm

    my first ever insem i had the nurse call my cervix a’ tricky little blighter’. it kind of spoiled the potential baby-making process! i hope your insem ends up making a more than adequate baby!
    14 tries is mammoth..and to do it all without telling your parents is amazing, then to actually tell them! what a big week for you!


  10. A belated birthday gift would be great.

    I too am amazed that you could go 14 tries before spilling the beans to your parents.


  11. Happy Scorpio birthday! and that’s huge about the ‘rents. 🙂


  12. Akeeyu at herveryown.typepad has a long vagina too. Mine, it is small. Go the vagina freaks.

    Happy birthday! For me it’s always a painful reminder of another year passed.

    That nurse sounds positively brutal. I would think any bleeding would likely be caused by her “technique”.


  13. Happy Birthday! I hope you get the belated birthday gift you want.


  14. You are a braver woman than I. I may be in my 30s, but I’m not telling my parents anything about trying to get knocked up (artichoke jar over here) until there’s an ultrasound to prove it.

    Happy birthday! And good luck!


  15. I would guess any blood would be from an angry scraped up girly bits from her clumsy insemming. That sounds like ass covering to me, though yes– ovulation can make you spot a little. Vanessa gets blood every month with ovulation, but I never do.

    I’m crossing my fingers and toes for a kickass belated b-day present for you, too.


  16. Happy Birthday Vee! I had an eyelash on my cheekbone while reading and blew it with a wish for you. Of course it will come true because it was a big black-tarred lash and it’s going to be a very lucky year for you.

    And kudos for telling the parents.


  17. Posted by byrdlady on November 7, 2007 at 10:14 pm

    Happy belated birthday!
    Two things: way to go for telling the folks! i’m glad they didn’t say anything too terribly insensitive, and seemed happy about being grandparents again!
    Second, your family sounds like mine about the drinking. They would know something was up if i wasn’t. And my mom, bless her heart, would have brought that donor agreement to me and forced me to tell her about it. She does not sit well with private information. In fact, “private” doesn’t have much of a meaning to her!


  18. Posted by byrdlady on November 7, 2007 at 10:15 pm

    Oh yea, and DUH!, fingers crossed that this was the insem that does the trick!!


  19. Happy Birthday.

    I do hope that you just get knocked up.

    Loved the story about your folks. Parents are weird. Soon you will know this when you morph into a weird-o upon giving birth.


  20. Yet another blogger to tell you: Happy Birthday!!!

    Good luck!!! I truly hope this is it. Wonderful about the ‘rents and loved the humour laced in your posts!


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