Losing faith?

I have loved my little monitor dearly. It gave me back a good night’s sleep. It released me from the torment of mental arithmatic at 4am (I need to wee, but if I get up now will I get 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep for a good temperature reading or not? If not, should I take my temp now? ad infinitum) It stopped me obsessing about those pretty FF charts.

But now, it’s testing my faith in its ability to take control for me. I no longer feel sure that it knows what the fuck it’s talking about.

I hereby present my evidence:-

picture-23.jpg

Ok, I confess, I just wanted a peestick display (though a row of BFP HPTs would have been nicer)! This is especially for you, Cali!

Even with the crappy webcam picture quality, I don’t think any of those look remotely positive for LH. Admittedly, the 4 large white and one pink one (from out of the digital OKP shown at the bottom) are not supposed to be “read” by us mere humans, but are for digital machine consumption only, but hell, I’ve seen enough of these now to know that on a surge, that second line is way clearer than that. Stronger infact than the other one, which tends to fade around surge time.

The two weeny green ones are internet cheapies that I took at 11am and 7:30pm on the day my monitor gave me my first peak reading. The digital one, with the big fat O, (as in “O, no lady, no LH here”), I took at 2pm today, the day of my second monitor peak. Negative, negative, negative.

I have no ovulation twinges and no EWCF at all, and the ones I “felt” yesterday were more the product of a fevered imagination if I’m honest. I’m pretty damned sure I’m not ovulating. We decided not to risk going for the insemination today (they would normally have us in on the morning after the first peak). This means I get to pee on more sticks in the hope that I do actually see a clear surge, hopefully around CD14 which is when I’d be expecting it. Our fingers are tightly crossed. Jay rightly pointed out that this “surge” correlates with the weird bleed thing – i.e. it’s about 14 days since that happened. Maybe I’m the Incredible Ovulating Woman and I’ve now actually got two cycles on the go simultaneously albeit slightly out of synch!?

Of course, we’ll be gutted if that doesn’t happen, but moving should at least speed the time up until the next cycle. We’re thinking blood monitoring for that one, even if it means a 2 hour round trip to the clinic every morning.

And my relationship with my monitor? Let’s just say we won’t be dating exclusively anymore. I’ll be reacquainting myself with the joys of my thermometer and may even flirt with a ferning microscope or a cervix gazing mirror!

vee

[Note from jay: we do acknowledge the irony in vee’s last post about nothing TTC-related happening, and I am now cursing her, albeit in a nice way!]

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8 responses to this post.

  1. I am confused — are those the sticks that you PUT into the monitor? Is this the ClearBlue easy monitor? I have never heard of anyone looking at those sticks’ appearance.

    BTW, it’s my understanding that the “high” reading on the monitor measures estrogen, not LH.

    Personally I think the monitor is crap — the first time I got pregnant, it told me my fertility was low the day I conceived (and the day before). I didn’t believe it, paid out of pocket for an ultrasound, and got pregnant. My other problem with the monitor is that you only test once a day with it. If you test at 6 am it could be negative, but it could be positive by 11 am. But if you test once a day, you won’t know precisely when you surged. (Personally I usually will have a negative OPK in the early morning, but it’ll turn positive by 11:30 am or so.)

    If you are using OPKs, and from the photo it’s clear you’re using at least one, I would also make sure you are trying multiple kinds. Personally I found OvuQuick never picked up my LH surge, but the ClearBlue Easy analog version always works for me. A friend has had good luck with First Response. Though I think you’re in the UK — not sure what the brands are like there. I haven’t tried the “cheapies,” because I wasn’t convinced they were reliable.

    I agree that you should wait until you have more signs: typically they say you should have multiple signs (EWCM, open cervix, LH surge, etc.) before going in. Good luck!

    Reply

  2. Teah, I should have added – the white sticks are monitor sticks. You’re right, they tell you not to look at them, but when have I ever done what I’m told! The monitor sticks are supposed to measure both oestrogen and LH. The strong line on the right is the oestrogen line. This fades as oestrogen increases. The other line (barely visible in my photo) is the LH surge. A “peak” stick, until now, has always had a strong LH line and a weak oestrogen line.

    The little ones are One Step OPKs and the pink one is a Clearblue digital OPK. I figured OKPs as well as the monitor were a good idea for the reason you say – only testing once in a day means I could miss the surge. I got the digital ones cos I’m usually crap at deciding “as dark as or darker” though in this instance it was clearly negative.

    I’m perversely heartened by your crap experience with the monitor and hopeful of getting more accurate signs.

    Even though we’re paying to use a private clinic, we simply can’t get the kind of treatment you guys seem to get from your clinics – I asked about an ultrasound (£100) and they were full and couldn’t fit me in. End of story! How crap is that!

    Reply

  3. Oh, I have a love-hate relationship with the monitor! But you really aren’t supposed to read the sticks yourself. No need for extra mind-hump action!

    I look forward to seeing your own BFP pee stick army in the near future.

    Reply

  4. it was a beautiful display of pee sticks!

    looks like you have a few days to go before the good & proper surge!! phew

    Reply

  5. I hear ya with the monitor. I too read the sticks both with and without the monitor to see the changes in the the 1st line vs. the 2nd line. So I totally know where you are coming from in knowing how the stick looks before a surge. Even though your supposed to rely on the monitor to read them they don’t look like peak sticks to me. Maybe it is the freakiness of last month that is causing this.

    I think you should continue temping and using OPKs throughout the day and see if things turn around. Bummer this is happening… luckily this whole timing the insemination is the easy part (yeah right!)

    Reply

  6. ugh. Frustrating.
    We relied on the monitor pretty exclusively for 3 months until we also did a few side tests – cheating on the monitor.
    I agree with continuing the temping and using OPKs at the same time. Maybe a few more days?!?!?!

    Reply

  7. A picture is worth a thousand words, isn’t it. Keep the faith!

    Reply

  8. Too bad those aren’t pregnancy tests. If it helps you at all, I’m getting my IUI on Thursday. I know we’re over-the-ocean menstrual buddies. If you guys use my ultrasound for your IUI, I’ll really feel like we’re getting our money’s worth.

    Reply

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