And the answer is….


It wasn’t exactly a surprise and it was totally the right decision, for all of us.
We love our friend a little more for thinking about it and dealing with it so respectfully (apart from forgetting to come to dinner on Tuesday, which I think actually was just fear!)

But now I feel utterly hopeless.

Stupid – we still have KD#1; we have the clinic option; hell we could even ask someone else.

But none of that’s making me feel any better. I just feel a bit dead inside and I’m so scared this is never going to happen for me. I can’t bellieve that we’re practically back to square one after all this time.

The sun is shining, it’s the weekend and all I seem to be able to do is cry and shout and then cry again.


3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by charlotte on September 10, 2006 at 4:38 am

    I’m so sorry. A no from a PKD is just aweful. And so hard. Why can’t we just bump our eggs together and eliminate the need for sperm at all. I hate having to rely on KDs or banks.

    I’m thinking of you.


  2. Posted by The Town Criers on September 12, 2006 at 2:25 am

    I’m sorry–wish he had come back with a different answer. Did you ever read the Kid by Dan Savage? It’s about their adoption, but there is a part where he possibly had a woman who wanted to carry their child for them. And the waiting. And while I haven’t read it in a while, I was thinking of picking it back from the shelf to see if there were any brilliant insights on coping. And waiting.


  3. Posted by ente on September 12, 2006 at 1:41 pm

    So sorry things are being so difficult. I know the right donor is out there for you, but that doesn’t make the waiting and wondering any easier.


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