And the answer is….

….no.

It wasn’t exactly a surprise and it was totally the right decision, for all of us.
We love our friend a little more for thinking about it and dealing with it so respectfully (apart from forgetting to come to dinner on Tuesday, which I think actually was just fear!)

But now I feel utterly hopeless.

Stupid – we still have KD#1; we have the clinic option; hell we could even ask someone else.

But none of that’s making me feel any better. I just feel a bit dead inside and I’m so scared this is never going to happen for me. I can’t bellieve that we’re practically back to square one after all this time.

The sun is shining, it’s the weekend and all I seem to be able to do is cry and shout and then cry again.
vee

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by charlotte on September 10, 2006 at 4:38 am

    I’m so sorry. A no from a PKD is just aweful. And so hard. Why can’t we just bump our eggs together and eliminate the need for sperm at all. I hate having to rely on KDs or banks.

    I’m thinking of you.

    Reply

  2. Posted by The Town Criers on September 12, 2006 at 2:25 am

    I’m sorry–wish he had come back with a different answer. Did you ever read the Kid by Dan Savage? It’s about their adoption, but there is a part where he possibly had a woman who wanted to carry their child for them. And the waiting. And while I haven’t read it in a while, I was thinking of picking it back from the shelf to see if there were any brilliant insights on coping. And waiting.

    Reply

  3. Posted by ente on September 12, 2006 at 1:41 pm

    DAMN….
    So sorry things are being so difficult. I know the right donor is out there for you, but that doesn’t make the waiting and wondering any easier.

    Reply

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