Home, sweet home.

Well, we successfully navigated our first long distance road trip, slash “holiday” with a baby. The word “holiday” earns its inverted commas by virtue of the fact that we remain unconvinced that any trip away with a three month old baby could be defined as a holiday in the old, there-just-used-to-be-two-of-us-relaxing kind of way. Really, given that many people never get holidays at all, we shouldn’t moan, but we certainly wouldn’t have chosen to put ourselves or BB through such a long journey for anything less important than his Uncle and Aunty’s wedding.

The wedding was a lovely affair. I managed to get through my reading in church without crying, which was an achievement, believe you me. I love to cry at weddings (a prize for anyone who spots the show tunes reference). BB was the ultimate star all day, snoozing through the service and most of the meal and happily playing family members ping pong for the rest of the day and evening. And now my little bro is a husband! Bless.

We did our best to chill for the rest of the week, enjoying the beautiful sandy beaches. It was all good, save for one trip that ended in a screaming, sobbing BB mess which subsided to catatonic shock, a quick nap, a feed and voila – reset and ready to go.

The journey home, lengthened not inconsiderably by my insistence on visiting a dear friend’s parents who were not nearly as local as I’d imagined, was certainly an adventure. One memorable pitstop involved

• getting my breastfeeding tits perved by a lorry driver who was hoping to use the layby we’d commandeered for his rest break;
• getting shat on by His Lordship – bad combination of a particularly violent expulsion of the lower intestinal tract, a loose nappy and no vest;
• scoring vomit all down the other trouser leg whilst cleaning up the aforementioned poo, then realising, whilst mopping it up, that the rest of it had formed a large puddle at the bottom of the car door tidy thing (jay wants to call it a glove compartment, but you know what she means);
• knocking over an entire can of Diet Coke whilst attempting to clean up all the other mess, all without water because we foolishly hadn’t packed any;
• trying to work out where to put our muddy dog in the meantime.

You have to laugh, right?

Anyhow, more seemly evidence of our adventures away can now be viewed at your leisure over at our lad’s picture blog. It was an adventure, but we’re glad to be home safe.

vee xxx