Neutral. [*Now with added ghost photo]

So this is the part where we ask you to please not get excited.

No, really, no excitement! Please.

Today is 11DPEC and we did a test because yesterday was so shit and we were on tenterhooks all day, waiting and waiting and trying to find things to distract ourselves with (shopping, DIY, cooking and the L Word) and doing more waiting. Every time we ran out of distractions, one of us would either start crying or plunge into depression or both.  To make things even better, vee was feeling periody – no blood, but periody nevertheless. It was crap.

We talked about serious things like how we are going to work to raise the cash for the next IVF if this one doesn’t work, and how we are going to get through it mentally and emotionally.  And how we are going to basically keep ourselves sane. So part of that Sanity Plan Aim was that this morning, we would test with vee’s first morning wee, just so that today would be better, because we might KNOW. So instead of feeling crap and jittery and on tenterhooks and worried, then we would just feel like shit, but we would know what to do.

Because we were gonna get a BFN, right?

And we did. MAYBE.

Yeah, ladies, we got one of those squint in the right light and maybe you will see it kind of tests. Vee said I wasn’t allowed to say that last thing but I ignored her because it was true. She peed on the stick:

Me: We’re going to get a negative, right?

Vee: Well, that’s what we’ve got.

And then she showed me the stick but we were in bed and the light was a bit dim and so I took it to the window and I looked and I saw the very, very faint line. Even vee couldn’t argue that it was there. But yeah it was there, ever so faintly, as like the minimum faintness you could imagine. I’m wittering, sorry. And then it went. And then it came back again, but differently, and kind of more faded but stronger on one side like a very, very thin pencil line. And no, we haven’t taken any photos, because to document all that, really you would need to film it and then stick it on YouTube and everyone would die of boredom. But yeah.

And please don’t say “a line’s a line!” because it isn’t really a line. It’s kind of like a ghost.  We won’t be surprised if vee gets her period, but if not we’ll test again tomorrow, and hopefully the ghost will revisit us, stronger this time.

But today we don’t feel shit, we feel neutral. And that’s so much better than feeling shit, right?

EDITED TO ADD:

OK, so here’s a photo of the ghost (it’s a thumbnail so if you click on it, it should get bigger)… still very ghostlike, kind of how it looked when we first tested. However, ironically, the line is now thinner and darker. But as everyone knows, it’s impossible to take a photo of a HPT. And of course, it’s wayyyyy after our 10 minutes were up, so it’s invalid now anyway.

Still no excitement allowed!