Ok, I’ve stopped sulking now. I’m “moving on”.
I’ve been so pissed off about our little let down this month that I haven’t been able to face blogging. In fact, I haven’t been able to face much at all except bad food, alcohol and kleenex. Ok, that’s an exaggeration, but seriously, this little incident got me far more worked up than another BFN would have. I mean, what a waste of all that beautiful mucus and an undoubtedly ready to roll egg!. T
Truth be told, i’m I’m a bit of a control freak and I don’t like people messing with my plans. Perhaps that’s something I should work on. But in the mean time, we have something far more exciting to work on – Plan B!
Jay and I have done a lot of talking since we got That Text. We’ve had to acknowledge that our donors are not as committed to this as we are. Of course they’re bloody well not! How naive of us to think so. We (hopefully) get the baby we so vervently desire out of this process, and they get….a dirty yogurt pot and some warm fuzzies. That’s the way we want it, but I can see why they perhaps don’t have the same kind of zeal about this mission!
So we’ve come to the conclusion that we’re going to need at least a Plan B, if not Plans C, D and E as well. (I’m a belt and braces kind of girl!)
We realised that after the seemingly endless effort to get us to where we are currently it wouldn’t actually be that much more difficult. So we’re now exploring two options –
Firstly, we could try to persuade our donor to have some of his goods put on ice for us. All we have to do is find a clinic that will play and re-mortgage the house. Oh yeah, and persuade him to find his way to a clinic, undergo more tests and do his duty (this may be the trickiest part)! Then, next time they shoot off on holiday or decide to leave the country for several months, we won’t be forced to endure a “break”.
The second option we though of was to approach someone else to be a second or back up donor. We could then try with both each month or fall back on one when the other couldn’t make it. Amazingly, we’ve even come up with someone we’d like to ask (in fact neither of us can remember why he didn’t get asked in the first place).
Not being ones to hang around (can you hear that ticking? That’s my biological clock. Loud, isn’t it?), we’ve invited him round for dinner. Tomorrow.
TOMORROW!! Oh shit! I’m so looking forward to having “that” conversation again!! Not.
Anyhow, wish us luck.
vee
3 responses so far ↓
Estelle // August 1, 2006 at 7:17 pm |
Tomorrow, eh?
Hope it goes well. Good to get it over with, lest you leave too much notice and decided not to go through with it.
Tamsin // August 2, 2006 at 11:13 am |
Good luck for your dinner with PKD#2 tonight.
Sorry that this couple are letting you down/don’t seem to realise how important it is to you; it must be very frustrating. It definitely sounds like a good idea to get plan B on the go now, rather than waiting.
BTW, as others on GB/rainbow families have pointed out, you do know that the “on ice” option isn’t that easy here in the UK don’t you? The sperm is quarantined for 6 months before you can use it, then the donor has to be re-tested at the end of that time to make sure that HIV etc. haven’t become apparent in the intervening time. Plus, I don’t think that you would be able to take the iced sperm out of the clinic for at-home usage – you’d probably have to have IUIs, which of course brings all the costs into the equation. And the HFEA have to get involved too, even if it is a known/private donor. So, although it sounds like a good option, it is not without (many!) complications.
vee // August 3, 2006 at 11:43 am |
Thanks for the good wishes. I’ll be posting the gory details later.
And thanks Tamsin for the info about frozen KD here in the UK – some we knew, some is new, but we’re realising that it’s not a very likely or attractive option really for lots of reasons. I guess we’re clutching at straws a bit.