OK so I haven’t blogged for 6 weeks, and when I finally get round to it (ie now), I have really crap news to share with youse. Such is life eh!
Our KD’s wife just texted me to tell me that they’ve decided to go on holiday today, rather than next week, thus missing our next insem, and she hopes we aren’t too mad. Mad? Sorry, but people with kids just don’t get it. At f***ing all!
I don’t know how mad I am on the scale of madness, as opposed to being devastated, gutted and somewhere along the lines I am furious. I can’t even think about it, and I can’t do my work either, so here I am blogging with half a devastated/gutted/furious brain.
And yes I know they are doing it out of the goodness of their good hearts, and somewhere in my own heart I do still love them… but that really does take the piss.
I feel so helpless it’s unbelievable. That’s probably why I haven’t blogged for 6 weeks too… as the non-bio mother, what is there for me to say? I don’t have a chart to do or whatever, and my future opportunity of parenting the child(ren) I so desperately want depends entirely on other people.
Dependency isn’t something I find at all easy to live with, for various reasons I’d rather not go into here, so maybe it’s just easier to say nothing at all, and watch your life being planned out for you (or not)? I dunno, maybe that’s how the non-bio mother is supposed to feel, or maybe I’m just a particularly grumpy specimen????
Enlighten me please, fellow non-bios?? 
)
Anyway, gotta look on the bright side… at least we don’t have to find a dogsitter for the insem. The dog is happy!
- jay x
5 responses so far ↓
ente // July 25, 2006 at 12:51 pm |
The hopelessness of dependence is beyond craptastic. I think the entire process is so disconnected in someway. We multi-mom families have to depend on a myriad of people to create the life we want. It is a major lesson in patience and acceptance. I always want to be in total control over my destiny and yet when it comes to the most personal part of my life (creating a family with the woman I love) I have to go to someone else (whether random stranger or friend) to make it happen. It just isn’t fair!
I guess what I am saying is I hear you.
Lo // July 25, 2006 at 7:05 pm |
I’m with you. It’s frustrating…best wishes to you from another non-bio mom.
Calliope // July 25, 2006 at 8:02 pm |
that SUCKS!
jay // July 25, 2006 at 8:43 pm |
thanks for the support, it means a lot to me… really does
) and you are right, it does suck. *sigh* nothing we can do now, is there?
oh well, roll on august!
charlotte // July 27, 2006 at 4:33 pm |
NO. Being the nonbio mother really sucks. I know because I have been in both positions. This one sucks way worse. I just pretend I do have charts to share. And people not TTC have no idea why a missed cycle is devestating.